remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
