Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Found the puke drawer
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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