That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
