I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
