where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
