"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
