So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize