dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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