Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
should my penis look like a turkey
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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