Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
