i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
