He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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