Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
