normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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