I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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