How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i out mim tonsoeep
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