I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
