you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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