just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize