Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
