the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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