Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
handjob tips. give me some.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
