Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
