Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
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I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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