Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
