For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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