We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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