I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
