girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
