So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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