Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.