And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
