It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
someone get that fucking seahorse.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.