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I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
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