the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
