You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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