just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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