Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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