I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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