is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
