Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
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Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
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This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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