I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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