Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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