I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
