If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
