dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize