By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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