Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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