I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize