I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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