well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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