If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize