i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
