We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
