We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
