she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
