That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
