what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
