dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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