So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
