This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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