Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
