So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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