a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i will never coherently bang her
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
