I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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